Finding the wisdom in what hurts.

Our emotions are not problems to be managed or overcome.

They are there to tell us what we need. What matters to us, what is working, and what isn't. For example, we feel sadness and it tells us that we have lost something important. We feel angry when we have been treated in a way that isn't right. Our emotions, when we can hear them, carry profound wisdom about our lives.

But sometimes it isn't easy to access this wisdom. Some of us have learned, through our family lives or other circumstances, to turn away from our emotions. We have learned to do this for good reasons: perhaps because we've understood that some emotions are more acceptable than others, or because we get overwhelmed and frightened when we feel these emotions. And so, we can lose access to the good information that our emotions carry.

Sometimes we get stuck in emotions about emotions. We feel sad, and that vulnerability feels unbearable, so we get angry instead. We can find ourselves stuck in that anger. This ends up keeping us protected, but it also keeps us from getting what we actually need: a soothing, caring response to the sadness and loss underneath.

Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) helps us to slow down together and turn toward what is actually happening inside you — gently, at your pace, in a safe and non-judgmental space. We help the deeper feelings become known and discover what they are trying to tell you about what is important to you and what you need. Over time, old stuck patterns begin to loosen. Something fresher and truer emerges: a clearer sense of what you need, and how to move toward it.

EFT is an evidence-based approach developed by Dr. Leslie Greenberg and colleagues. For more information about EFT, please see some of the links in the section Resources.

There is another human being in the room with you here.

When you come to our first session, I am not looking for what is wrong with you. I am trying to understand how your heartache has come to be, and how you treat yourself and others in the midst of it.

I see capacity and strength in the people who sit across from me. You are here because of your resourcefulness, your cleverness, and your resilience. Even when you or the people in your life may believe something is wrong or broken, I hold fast to the deeply held belief that you are working hard to try to live the life you want.

I hold deep reverence for vulnerability. When this vulnerability emerges in our work, we go slowly and with great care, because this is often fresh ground on which to be standing. Paired with this tender care is my willingness to laugh (especially at myself!), and I delight in coming to know you in all the ways you are yourself.

I celebrate with you the moments when something new is happening, even moments that at first glance might not seem like anything at all. These moments are important times for reflection, and I will invite us to honour your capacity for growth and change.